One Year Ago Today

i believe we should all periodically face an enormous fear.  i first did this when i moved to san francisco without a plan or a friend.  i faced fear when i became separated from dannon deep in an unpatrolled section of the grand canyon with no water.  i faced a different, but equally great fear the day of my wedding.  but for several years i hadn't faced any fears at all.  in fact, i took great care to avoid my fears completely.  this was no way to live.  in fact, it wasn't really living at all.  

then came my 30th birthday.  the week before i had planned several different trips wherein i would get in my car and just drive.  each trip sounded exciting and liberating, but still not quite right.  eventually i realized these trips had more to do with running away than embracing the things in life which i feared.  two days before my birthday i literally woke myself up in the middle of the night with one thought: skydiving!  the next day i booked a non-refundable ticket without giving it much thought.  i knew i could easily talk myself out of it if i thought about it.  i also knew we were far too poor to waste the money i put down.  i was locked in.  that was that.  

the morning of my birthday i informed dannon that i would be skydiving later that afternoon and asked if he would like to join me.  of course he did!  we hopped in the car and giggled with nervous anticipation.  my fingers were tingly and i continued to avoid my thoughts as i spent 40 minutes signing document after document stating that i just might die that day.  yikes.  

as we waited for our turn to go through the training we sat and watched as people all over the world, people of all different levels of professional daredevilism, prepared for their jumps.  they were hippies, outdoorsy mountain people - they were our people.  suddenly we felt very calm.  the fear disappeared completely and i knew this was something i was going to absolutely love.  

and so, exactly one year ago today, i jumped.

and now, whenever i face a fear, i remind myself that i fell from 2 miles above
the earth at 120mph...  i can handle anything.

ps - it really was an unbelievably incredible experience.  i highly recommend it to everyone!  and yes, it's actually quite safe - injuries occur to experts who are attempting very dangerous tricks, not newbies jumping with trained professionals.  so... do it!

 

The C-Word

lately i've been thinking a lot about conflict {yes that c-word}.  i can't count how many times i've told people "conflict is not bad, it's simply a call to creativity."  i was taught that in grad school by my favorite hippy psychology professor, and i felt so proud of myself every single time i said it.  "oh kim, you are dishing out such wise advice!"  i truly believed the words that were coming out of my mouth... that is, until i had to apply it to my own life.  i was careful never to say this wise advice to myself, even though i whole-heartedly thought it was true.  why?  because conflict is not just a call to creativity.  if that were all, i would be fine with it.  i love to be creative!  but conflict is also a call to
change {oy, there's another c-word for you}.

{^}

the other day i was journaling about a quote i had read by *donald miller.  the quote was:

“The most crippling belief a person can have is life was supposed 

to be easy.  Can you imagine how much more painful life would be 

if you thought life was hard because you were doing something 

wrong?  Conflict isn’t what detracts from our well-being. 

 Conflict is great.  What detracts from our well-being is the 

thought we weren’t supposed to be experiencing conflict in the 

first place. ... Life is supposed to be meaningful and we 

can't gain a sense of meaning without conflict.”

as i was writing about how wise and truthful i found this statement, putting it to memory so i could add it to my arsenal of great therapy speech, i was interrupted by conflict - a lot of conflict.  the dog, the cat, the husband, each brought forth conflict to my peaceful existence within the span of 2 short minutes as i was writing about how conflict brings meaning.  fuck.  i was furious, not because of the specific conflict going on around me, but because i suddenly had the responsibility to face that conflict in a new way.  i could no longer face it with those dear old friends Avoidance and Blame.  i knew those were unhealthy and unproductive ways of dealing with conflict, but i still longed for them them because they were familiar and comfortable.  we humans are funny aren't we?  we choose the unhealthy over that which we know will make us happier in a desperate attempt to avoid any form of change.  i know i do. 

so i guess the points i'm trying to make are these:  i am a hypocrite just like everyone else; conflict really is great if it makes you grow as a person; but still, let's be completely understanding if we all take a long time to make those healthy changes, okay?

i think my 33 year old client said it best when he asked:  "Is this me growing up?"

* This is an excerpt from Donald Miller's new book Storyline.  I haven't read it, but I did download a sample chapter, which had some great words for thought.  you can download it too at the bottom of the page here.

Transportation

{^}

this week my car completely died.  luckily i made it home just in time before it happened, ...
but only to discover dannon's car had also died that same day.  oy.

we now have a rental car to share for our physical transportation, but when it comes to money and these unexpected financial... let's say "challenges" in life, it definitely takes a leap of faith.  

i've learned enough to know that things always work themselves out.  the real struggle is 

learning how to keep the faith and focus on not losing yourself to discouragement in the meantime.

Happy

"trees don't grow even, they don't grow straight, 

just however makes them happy."

- bob ross

{^}

Just In Case You Forgot...

you are FAR more capable than you think you are.

{^}

Life Lessons

{^}

wise words from lemony snicket.  this is a concept i have been entertaining in a lot of areas of my life lately.  i am slowly but surely learning to take action even though i don't particularly want to take action, don't feel ready to take action and definitely don't feel brave enough to do so.   but, the fear and uncertainty will not go away until after i make my move, not before.  and feeling those fears and uncertainties very strongly does not mean that their messages are accurate or that they have the authority to make the decision for me.  they are feelings.  they may be intense, but they will not last forever.  

it's amazing what we are capable of, and that includes surviving intense fear.  we need not cave in to it.  

we can feel the intensity and take action anyway.  trust your strength.  you will get through it.

We Must Take Adventures

{^}

Explore

{by wesley bird}

leap

holy mother, this is amazing!!

I Believe I can Fly ( flight of the frenchies). Trailer from sebastien montaz-rosset on Vimeo.

those crazy frenchmen! 

as terrifying as this is, i am completely inspired.  of course it also gets me thinking about all the times i've avoided taking that leap.  but it looks so freeing doesn't it?  there's something inside me which greatly longs to catapult myself with all my might off the edge of a giant cliff.  imagine how amazing life would be if we did this, be it literally like these guys or figuratively with our choices. yup, scary stuff, but that fear is just an indicator of how badly we want something.  so why not go for it?

the full length documentary is about 40 minutes and will be streaming live {for free!} on
the blog sebmontaz this friday {11.11.11.} - i can't wait!

life

{photo}

well yes, this could be read in a way that suggests one must replace cozy sweat pants with restrictive formal wear, top off a hot cup of tea with laxatives, and fully remove that protective personal bubble.  of course, this could also mean you aren't truly living life unless you're facing challenges, taking risks, facing fears, embracing the unknown, and giving honor to all of your various emotions.  i'll go ahead and let you decide which way you'd like to be inspired today.

365Q

by now we've probably all seen these posted around the interweb.  they're all part of a 365 days photo project by photographer and graphic designer julian bialowas.  365Q is not your ordinary photo project though. here's what julian has to say about it: 

"What makes 365q different from most 365 projects is I don’t take a photo a day.

I instead recreate one of my own on a daily basis.

To inspire. To motivate. To get you out there."

i am completely in love with this project {which ended at the beginning of 2011}.  

as a lover of nature, adventure, and unceasing personal growth, i find these absolutely inspiring!

lately i've even begun to use some of these as a jumping off point for my morning pages,
and it has been amazing to ask myself, how can i live out these sentiments in my life? 

{one of my favs! how often do you have great ideas, but never act on them?}

there are 359 more gorgeous and inspiring photos where these came from, 

and i highly recommend taking your time sorting through them all.

 if you're looking for more inspiration and beauty, you can also check out julian's latest project, 

a collaborative magazine entitled 16 hours, devoted to art and exploration of the world.

what are you finding inspirational these days?

{all photos borrowed from 365Q.}

embrace your true self

" everybody is a genius.  

but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a 

tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

- albert einstein

i read this quote a few weeks ago and it has been haunting me ever since.  

i wish so badly i could convince everyone in the world of this truth.

for some reason, many of us have the belief that we must be just like _____ [fill in the blank: actors? models? whatever your peers seem to like? musicians? whatever your parents told you to be? rocket scientists? quarterbacks?].  whatever or whoever it is that you think you must be is not
necessarily who you are nor who you were meant to be.

just think, what if rosa parks had decided she needed to be something other than herself?

or what if albert einstein listened to his critics who thought he didn't fit the mold of an intellectual?

and what if you, because of your belief that you're not good enough in some way, never live out the extraordinary things you were born to do in this life?

{photo}

it is my sincerest hope that we can all embrace our unique gifts, abilities, and life paths,

regardless of what anyone else {especially our inner critic} has to say about it.

life inspiration ~ remember to slow down

"Slow down and enjoy life.  It's not only the scenery 

you miss by going too fast - you also

 miss the sense of where you are going and why."

                                              

                                         - eddie cantor, artist and humanitarian

{photo}

where are you headed today?

what is the ultimate goal?

and are you paying attention to the beauty that surrounds you?

these are the things i'll be considering today as i:

- run errands,

- catch up with loved ones,

- and let the mister cut my hair

{the ultimate test of trust in a relationship}.

life inspiration ~ katharine hepburn

i've always been a huge fan of katharine hepburn.  to me, she always seemed the epitome of what it means to be a woman - strong, independent, humorous, fashionable, cheeky, glamorous, a feminist, never taking life too seriously, and incredibly wise.  i love that she chose never to have children and did many of her own movie stunts {something that was almost unheard of from actresses in her day}.  

  

yup, she was one incredible lady! so this week i am soaking up as much katharine hepburn inspiration as i can.  here are some of my favorite quotes and images from her life:

who do you find inspirational for this big thing called life?


{katharine photos found on pinterest, images created by me.}