Wednesday, October 12, 2011

the irrational girl's guide to actually relaxing

finding time to relax can be really tough, but it's absolutely necessary for your sanity.  
here are my tips for all of us busy gals who need to fit a little more down time into our lives.
{this may work for boys too, but i have not confirmed this seeing as how i'm a girl and all.}

the irrational girl's guide to actually relaxing:

1. collect any to-do lists you've created recently and hide them {stuffing
them in the back of the freezer or down the shower drain are good places}.

2. if you have kids, set them outside in a small, fenced-in area with a locked gate. 
provide protective padding, water, and shade, then go back inside where it's quiet.

3. do a quick 5 minute cleanse of your environment by packing everything into large trashbags then piling them into a closet or under the bed {you can go through them later}. include things around the house that you think are really ugly, but which your partner/roommate loves {you don't need to deal with ugly things when you're trying to relax}.

4. have multiple bags of your favorite chips {all natural cheetos anyone?} 
and mix up a family size box of annie's mac n cheese.  eat ALL of this in one sitting.

5. consider pulling out your single girl sweats with the worn-out
 elastic {perfect for gorging yourself on cheese-related products}.

6. ignore your phone. if it keeps beeping at you, chuck it as hard as you can into 
the forest, or if you're a city gal like me, drop it into a large pot of boiling water.

7. watch whatever you want, read whatever you want, dance as spastically as you want, sing as 
loudly and as out of tune as you want, and hold multiple out-loud conversations with
yourself {you don't even have to claim that you're talking to the cat}.

8. barricade the door with several extremely heavy objects so when your
partner/roommate comes home they won't be able to get in and judge you.

9. when you're finished with your relaxation time, don't forget to hide the evidence of empty cheetos bags and x-large sweat pants {fyi - rice cookers and covered litterboxes are some other good hiding spots}.

10. remove barricades, bring in your children {see? they were fine}, and go about your business as usual. 

yes, you are welcome! 

{and when in doubt, ask yourself, WWTFD?}

i'm sure you all have a new found sense of appreciation for the sort of irrational behavior the mister has to deal with on a daily basis living with me.  luckily i have the whole cute-as-a-button-puppy-dog-eyes down like a pro.


  1. Hahahah! LOLforever
    I am actually chuckling right now! >:)

  2. HAHAHAHA - LOVE it! Definitely the perfect solution when you need a bit of alone-time! :) Haha, I'm sure the mister secretly loves this sort of "irrational behavior" ;)

  3. Lol. this is too funny and I can't wait to try a few irrational things to relax later.

  4. HAHAHAH! WWTFD! We need to get together and just watch 30 Rock. Can we start a book club with her book?
    I am all about the natural cheetos. The taste just like the originals!

  5. Ha! Totally giggling over here. Loved it! :)

    Cheese ALWAYS makes me feel better!

  6. This is so awesome!!! Sometimes I totally need a night like that. And I swear, eating a whole box of mac n cheese is one of the most rewarding feelings ever. I've never attempted a family size box, though, haha!

    I'd add a bottle of wine, possibly a bubble bath, & an awesome playlist to the mix. FUN!

  7. I love Annie's (gluten free) mac and cheese! I miss it so.

    That's alright last night I told IC "to stop talking to me" if he was "going to say anything optimistic or glass half full. " I'd rather him "say nothing than see the silver lining"...I am also a pleasure to live with.

  8. I enjoyed this :) Thank you!

  9. haha i really laughed reading this... which incidentally is also a great way to relax :)

  10. Ha! Kim, you've just made me laugh out loud.

    "you don't need to deal with ugly things when you're trying to relax..."

    I like it.

  11. Ha ha LOL - brilliant stuff - I am particularly fond of the bit with the fenced of area for the kids - sound like a plan - happy days Kim,

  12. Hahaha, love every single one of these tips!!

  13. good tips! and the most perfect image EVER!

    i also love the WWTFD idea. LOL!

  14. Buahaha... I wish I could actually get away with some of these things :) Very funny stuff.

  15. Too awesome, Kim. I frequently ignore my phone, just keep it on silent, stick it in some other room. Sometimes I wish I could run away from responsibilities more frequently.

  16. hell to the yes. I am so doing this all weekend. Maybe going leaf diving too. And swearing! Fuck yea! Because you're a fan of swearing and it feels so good at the end of a busy week :)

  17. Ha, I love it! (And, still laughing over Kayla's comment too : )

  18. How did I miss this post?! It is one of your best ever! Loved it and laughed out loud a couple of times. I like the bit about getting rid of your husband's ugly stuff (I may have done this myself a few times in the past... Don't even get me started on his "Bad to the Bone" sweat-pant shorts!!!"

  19. LOL, love this post. Also, that is just one awesome photo of Tina Fey.

    Need to incorporate cheesy snacks and pajama pants into my daily.