Sometimes You Get Mopped

the past week has been exhausting and i have been tempted to feel sorry for myself and give up and cry in a curled up ball in the corner.  but then i remembered that i have once been mopped.  if any of you have ventured into The Pirate Store at 826 Valencia in san francisco, then you may have also had the unfortunate experience of being mopped.  if not,... well just know that it's entirely possible for a person to be mopped and that it is an intensely horrible experience.  but i survived!  

it's important during difficult times like these to remind myself that
things could be worse... at least i didn't get mopped again.

here's to keeping it all in perspective.

sometimes

sometimes life is such a struggle.

sometimes life is overwhelming.

sometimes life breaks you into tiny pieces. 

but sometimes, just sometimes, this happens to you.

{just in case: link}

Friday

{^}

have a fabulous weekend.

happy halloween!!

pumpkins! costumes! princesses! superheroes! monsters! creepy! children! creepy children!
ah! they're at my door! what do they want?! they're pointing at my bowl full of reese's!
NO KIDS, THOSE ARE ALL MINE!!!

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macabre food art to adore - cuddly rigor mortis art series by kristin tercek
{click the link for tons of more awesomeness like these}:

{clockwise from top left: no s'more, that boy sure does love his butter, sweet lobotomy, happy birthday, pimento mori, citruside}

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and how about some awesome halloween music
{in addition to ryan gosling's spooky music that is}:
  


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or a list of movies perfect for watching on halloween night... with the lights off of course,
since you've decided the giant bowl of chocolate your husband bought should be for you, not the neighborhood kids:
   psycho, edward scissorhands, ghostbusters, silence of the lambs, beetlejuice, coraline, the shining, shutter island, any mystery theatre 3000 movie, rocky horror picture show, or the goonies
{because when is the goonies not appropriate?}.

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as for me?

well, last year we had a few friends over for pumpkin carving and a beheading {you know, the usual}.  this year, however, i think we're laying low.  and by that i mean, the mister and i will probably engage in an epic battle of strength and will over the fate of our giant bag of reese's.  "oh husband darling,... climb aboard the murder train!"

question: what's more fun than the shake weight?

answer: capturing photographs of dogs mid-shake!

a couple days ago i discovered "shake," the most hilarious photography project ever {thanks to the nimbus factory}, by photographer carli davidson.  have a dog and a bucket of water? well you better get your camera ready... or at least that's what carli davidson did.

the results?...

hilarious!!

and a little gross,
but that's what you get when you mix inertia with jowls.
i guess it's just the laws of nature.
thank god someone was there to document it!!

a handy tip for the easily distracted

do you find yourself easily distracted?  are you often doing 4 different things at once, none which are the things you need to be doing?  are you longing for freedom?  you are not alone, and there is help.
here's a handy tip for the easily distracted:


{Miranda July: The Future on Nowness.com.}

pure brilliance right?! i laughed out loud when i first saw this.  funny, because it's true.

i'm a huge fan of miranda july.  everything i've heard her say about art and the human condition has been pure brilliance, so i was excited to find this clip working its way around the blogosphere.  this was a deleted scene from miranda july's newest film "the future,"  which i'm pretty interested in seeing.  has anyone seen it yet?  have any other handy tips for finding freedom from distractions?

happy productive wednesday!

the irrational girl's guide to actually relaxing

finding time to relax can be really tough, but it's absolutely necessary for your sanity.  

here are my tips for all of us busy gals who need to fit a little more down time into our lives.

{this may work for boys too, but i have not confirmed this seeing as how i'm a girl and all.}

the irrational girl's guide to actually relaxing:

1. collect any to-do lists you've created recently and hide them {stuffing
them in the back of the freezer or down the shower drain are good places}.

2. if you have kids, set them outside in a small, fenced-in area with a locked gate. 

provide protective padding, water, and shade, then go back inside where it's quiet.

3. do a quick 5 minute cleanse of your environment by packing everything into large trashbags then piling them into a closet or under the bed {you can go through them later}. include things around the house that you think are really ugly, but which your partner/roommate loves {you don't need to deal with ugly things when you're trying to relax}.

4. have multiple bags of your favorite chips {all natural cheetos anyone?} 

and mix up a family size box of annie's mac n cheese.  eat ALL of this in one sitting.

5. consider pulling out your single girl sweats with the worn-out
 elastic {perfect for gorging yourself on cheese-related products}.

6. ignore your phone. if it keeps beeping at you, chuck it as hard as you can into 

the forest, or if you're a city gal like me, drop it into a large pot of boiling water.

7. watch whatever you want, read whatever you want, dance as spastically as you want, sing as 

loudly and as out of tune as you want, and hold multiple out-loud conversations with
yourself {you don't even have to claim that you're talking to the cat}.

8. barricade the door with several extremely heavy objects so when your
partner/roommate comes home they won't be able to get in and judge you.

9. when you're finished with your relaxation time, don't forget to hide the evidence of empty cheetos bags and x-large sweat pants {fyi - rice cookers and covered litterboxes are some other good hiding spots}.

10. remove barricades, bring in your children {see? they were fine}, and go about your business as usual. 

viola!

yes, you are welcome! 

{and when in doubt, ask yourself, WWTFD?}

i'm sure you all have a new found sense of appreciation for the sort of irrational behavior the mister has to deal with on a daily basis living with me.  luckily i have the whole cute-as-a-button-puppy-dog-eyes down like a pro.

spoke too soon

okay, well it waaas feeling cooler when i wrote yesterday's post, but as it turns out,
summer is still going strong.  gah! i guess i'll have to be patient for a little while longer.

...but hopefully not too much longer, okay seasons? okay?  

i think maybe it might help if i start setting my boundaries.

...ahem...

dear summer:

i don't mean to sound harsh, but sheesh! get a clue. it's over between us okay? maybe in a year we can be friends again, but for now, i just need my space.  it's not you, it's me.  i'd like to try spending time with other seasons.  i mean, we're both still so young... or at least i am... compared to you and your billions of years on this planet.  there are just so many things i want to do in life, and i just feel like i can't do them if you're still in the picture. sweaters? mulled cider? roasting things in a fire?!  i know, this may hurt, but i just don't want to beat around the bush anymore.  it's not fair to either one of us.  so summer, please move on.  maybe you can look up that australia country?  she always seemed so into you.

best wishes,

kim

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on the bright side, if you're looking for something delicious to do with those end-of-summer blueberries in your fridge, how about an open faced blueberry, arugula, ricotta sesame baguette with olive oil
drizzled on top?  oh my heavens!  you can always count on sunday suppers to offer the
most beautiful food inspiration. if you've never read it, go have a look. 

have any final summer plans?