One Year Ago Today

i believe we should all periodically face an enormous fear.  i first did this when i moved to san francisco without a plan or a friend.  i faced fear when i became separated from dannon deep in an unpatrolled section of the grand canyon with no water.  i faced a different, but equally great fear the day of my wedding.  but for several years i hadn't faced any fears at all.  in fact, i took great care to avoid my fears completely.  this was no way to live.  in fact, it wasn't really living at all.  

then came my 30th birthday.  the week before i had planned several different trips wherein i would get in my car and just drive.  each trip sounded exciting and liberating, but still not quite right.  eventually i realized these trips had more to do with running away than embracing the things in life which i feared.  two days before my birthday i literally woke myself up in the middle of the night with one thought: skydiving!  the next day i booked a non-refundable ticket without giving it much thought.  i knew i could easily talk myself out of it if i thought about it.  i also knew we were far too poor to waste the money i put down.  i was locked in.  that was that.  

the morning of my birthday i informed dannon that i would be skydiving later that afternoon and asked if he would like to join me.  of course he did!  we hopped in the car and giggled with nervous anticipation.  my fingers were tingly and i continued to avoid my thoughts as i spent 40 minutes signing document after document stating that i just might die that day.  yikes.  

as we waited for our turn to go through the training we sat and watched as people all over the world, people of all different levels of professional daredevilism, prepared for their jumps.  they were hippies, outdoorsy mountain people - they were our people.  suddenly we felt very calm.  the fear disappeared completely and i knew this was something i was going to absolutely love.  

and so, exactly one year ago today, i jumped.

and now, whenever i face a fear, i remind myself that i fell from 2 miles above
the earth at 120mph...  i can handle anything.

ps - it really was an unbelievably incredible experience.  i highly recommend it to everyone!  and yes, it's actually quite safe - injuries occur to experts who are attempting very dangerous tricks, not newbies jumping with trained professionals.  so... do it!

 

Birthday

it's hard to believe that it's almost my birthday again.  this past year has absolutely flown by.  

this year, my birthday wish list includes:

+ a long backpacking trip through Iceland

+ entrance into my top PhD program

+ a cute cabin in the woods of Colorado

+ a month sailing on a tall ship like my friend maranatha did
+ a sea kayaking trip around the channel islands

okay, so my realistic wish list includes eye glasses, a trip to the dentist, new break pads for the car and money to take the GRE.  not nearly as fun as my "no limitations" list above, but i guess i'm a real grown-up now.

{this is what happens when i sigh after thinking about the inner struggle between adult responsibilities and youthful free-spiritedness. she always knows how to make me feel better.}

Worth It

the classic "self-photo" gets even more complicated when you
want your highly energetic pup to be a part of it.

but i think these do a much better job at conveying the joy and fun times we had together.

we had a true sabbath this weekend at arroyo burro dog beach in santa barbara, ca.
it was gorgeous - sunshine, ocean ions, the sound of waves crashing, perfectly chilled water,
delicious picnic food, squishy seaweed, and best of all, the uninterrupted company
of each other - exactly what all three of us needed this weekend.

Take to Nature

sometimes i cannot imagine leaving the city - the people, the cacophony of cultures, music, art,
good food - but sometimes i deeply long for life back in the mountains.

i grew up in the woods and mountains.  camping was not something you planned for or took time out to do.  camping was simply a part of life.  on a wednesday, after school and work, friends and i would collect a few things and stay the night under the stars.  we ate over fires and made music on backpacker guitars and spoke of our hopes and fears.

i miss that a lot.

i miss fireflies,

tree swinging,

bouldering,

midnight dips in a creek,

sharing a bedroom with deer, bears, coyotes, mountain lions.

still, the fact is that i do live in the center of a great big city now.  so what am i to do with all of this "missing?"  i suppose i will cherish all of those sweet memories - what an incredible way to grow up!  then i will remind myself that what the "missing" is telling me is this: my soul needs nature.  i may not live in the mountains or
woods anymore, but i can still make time to give myself the gift of nature.  it's not a vacation
destination.  it is a necessary practice for spiritual growth, personal growth, healing and
rejuvenation - truly the best way to fill my well.

{^}

Meet Maisy

about a year ago, we rescued the cutest puppy in the whole wide world!  she was a teeny tiny total of 4 pounds, 8 weeks old and in dreadful shape.  the night we brought her home we plucked 38 ticks from her belly.  she also had a broken tail and several intestinal parasites.  poor baby!  

we loved watching her figure out the world around her - mustering the courage to jump off the 2 inch door frame, scaring herself with her own bark, and discovering the joys of eating paper products {maisy is a firm believer that all paper products are a valid food source}.

{her ears grew twice as fast as the rest of her - so cute!}

there's a lot she still doesn't understand though, like why her two people aren't ALWAYS physically connected to her.  Or why she gets all drooly and anxious in the car, which always seems to end with being poked and prodded at the vet's.  Or why, OH WHY!, her big sister kitty won't play with her. 

now that she's bigger, we are regularly asked if she's a coyote.  for the first year we said no, but since we can't actually be sure {we were told she's a sable german shepherd}, we now just say "why yes, yes she is half coyote."  

most people we meet are afraid of her.  mothers grasp their children, men cross to the other side of the street.  i don't quite get it because... well look at that adorable face!  

having a dog has made life so much better in so many ways.  the incredible love of an adorable furry friend does so much for easing anxiety.  plus, because she's a big dog, i now go on long, daily hikes in nature {yes, LA does have nature}.  i don't know how i ever got along without her.

{sleeping on my shoulder - bah!}

i highly recommend adopting if you haven't already done so.  it's probably the best thing we can all do for our health and well-being.

Idaho

 family

snow

country life

baby goat

miniature pony {with whom maisy fell madly in love}

the grand tetons

wild moose, big-horned sheep, coyotes, bald eagles

late night movies and popcorn in bed

escape from the stresses of life

 {why yes, that IS a hunting camo bikini}

a couple months ago we took a road trip up to see my dad and step-mom in idaho falls.  

it was exactly what we needed. 

the great anniversary getaway!

we're finally back from our adventurous getaway to the san francisco bay.  there were some amazing experiences and also some really tough challenges.  but it's the hard times that teach you just how strong you are, and which make the good times shine even more brightly. so all in all, it was a pretty fantastic trip!

{sweet city fun!}

highlights

* being back home in our favorite city in the world.

* amazing indian, thai, brunch, & ethiopian food at some of our favorite restaurants {mmm!}.

* hiking in the thick fog surrounded by coyotes and herds of elk {it was so magical!}.
* learning whole heaps about ourselves, life, and relationships.

* seeing some of our favorite people from our past.

* attending our friends' beautiful wedding.
* hearing the elk calls.

{hiking to the end of the world... or at least the country.}

{deep in the fog, we couldn't see. but often we would hear an elk call. as the fog broke just slightly, we would see the dark outline of a great beast with large antlers keeping watch. magical indeed!}

{the elk in a clearing outside the fog.}

things i learned

* short trips back home means you won't get to see nearly as many loved ones as you'd like to, 

so make sure you enjoy every second with the few people you do get to see.

* wine can be a suitable backup plan for self-medicating terrible ocd triggered panic attacks. 

* always take your car repair manual, plus extra money in the budget for car repairs. 

* and on a related note, miracles are totally real, particularly ones wherein you have to spend a whole afternoon replacing two car tires, but you don't mind because your life was spared and it could have been much worse.

* red bull + a very long playlist of 80's favorites is the best recipe for driving back to LA at 3 am.
* we'll definitely be moving back to san francisco one day, it's just a matter of time.

* love is a crazy, mysterious, wonderful, and powerful force.

{brunch time!}

as usual, it felt like way too short of a trip, but it was great all the same.  we spent almost 2 days in the city, running errands and seeing friends, followed by several days at a cabin up in the woods of pt. reyes national park.  we enjoyed long evenings by the fire and roamed the edge of the country, above the crashing ocean waves.

we both miss san francisco so much and it's pretty clear we'll end up there again.  but for now we're trying to enjoy what LA has to offer and be content with our mini getaways back home from time to time.

guess what?!

that dreamy partner of mine is in a real live band!

i present to you raised by wolves:

{check out that handsome man on the far left. recognize that vest?}

they're still an emerging band so they only have a couple finished songs recorded,

but they are extremely talented!  and i'm not just saying that because my husband is the 

violinist {and helped write out the string parts might i add}.  after all those nights practicing and writing music, i was floored to hear the results.  here, have a listen to these two songs:

amazing right?!  

i'm so proud and i can't wait till they have their full album to share.

they just started a kickstarter page for those of you who want to pitch in a buck or two.  all the proceeds will go to the making of their record as well as travel costs for playing at SXSW next year.  {by the way, you should check out the prize for donating $500. it's pretty awesome, and they already have a backer for it.  although i have a feeling they're going to be writing a song for one of their moms.}

yay!!!

adventures in the u.s.a.!

i'm not going to lie, i'm not the most patriotic person. sure there are great advantages to living in a developed first-world country, but there are plenty of things that make me so frustrated, so baffled with my country and culture that it's hard to celebrate today.  however, i have had the joy of living and traveling all over this great big country and let me tell you, it's gorgeous! 

a couple years ago the mister and i took a big backpacking trip through as many southwest national parks as we could.  it was august of 2008, before i had this blog, so i don't think i ever shared our adventure.  it was one of the most fun experiences i've had, so i thought it was only fitting to reminisce this great adventure and give honor to the beautiful land i call home as my way of celebrating the u.s.a.

when we left san francisco it was a chilly 50 degrees {yes, san francisco in the summer is quite cold}, so we were excited to head out for warmer weather.  the first day we drove down into the sequoia national park, found a pretty looking spot, and backpacked up into the woods.  when we awoke the next morning we discovered several herds of cattle roaming freely through the woods.  they were so curious about us that they decided to hang out while we made breakfast.  i was already a vegetarian {mostly}, but after that morning i vowed never to eat beef again. it was very much a "bah-ram-mu" situation.  we spent the next day visiting the giant sequoia's, playing in waterfalls, and sleeping by the kern river. 

from there we made our way over to death valley.  now if you're thinking to yourself, "death valley in the middle of august? isn't it brain-boiling hot there?!" you would be correct. we spent most of our time in the car, only jumping out for 2 minutes at a time, and only after we had stuffed ice cubes in our clothes.  we were dry in under a minute.  death valley and the sahara desert go back and forth beating the record for the hottest place on earth.  we don't actually know how hot it was when we were there because the thermometers only went up to 125 degrees, but you better believe those thermometers filled all the way up to the top!  still, with all that heat, it was by far the most beautiful place i have ever been.  it's majestic and eery, surreal and magical.  we have plans to head back and go camping near the racetrack playa {where the rocks move} in the winter.

our next stop was at our friend's house in las vegas where we finally got a shower and some thai takeout. ah the comforts of home! the next day we were off again, this time to the grand canyon.  we hiked down a trail that was no longer maintained {meaning: dangerous trails and no rangers around} to a mesa in the middle of the canyon where we camped. in the middle of the night i felt a spider {eeek!!}, and woke up to discover a HUGE meteor shower above us {you get a free pass on this one spider}.  i've seen meteor showers before, but never with as much awe as from the middle of the grand canyon.

the next morning, we hiked even deeper into the canyon in pursuit of water.  i'm not going to get into it, but that day was a pretty significant day in my life.  we very nearly died that day and i have never felt more isolated, more in tune with my intuition, or more thankful for miracles as i did that day trying to
climb out of the grand canyon {don't worry mom, we made it!}.

after another stop in vegas for more showers and a tour of the strip, we grabbed our friend and headed back out, this time to explore zion national park and hike the narrows!  this was the most pure unadulterated fun we had on the whole trip.  yes it was beautiful in its own way like the other places we explored, but
this time we got to spend the entire trip hiking in the river that flows through the canyons.
sweet, refreshingly cold water!  we swam, we climbed, and we laughed a whole whole lot.

that trip was such a blast {albeit hot and sweaty - i've never been more grateful for 50 degree summers than i was heading back to san francisco after this hot adventure}. we got to see awe-inspiring parts of the country and spent time with various friends along the way.  i can't wait to go back to some of these places now that we live closer, and i'm even more excited to explore the parts of the country i haven't seen yet.  i think alaska and hawaii need to be next on the list.  maybe a tour of the non-contiguous states?  and let's go ahead and
throw in the pacific territories while we're at.  hip hip hooray! 

concrete voices

i had the best time at the jubilee on sunday.  if you've never been, it's a small music & arts festival that is focused on showcasing local bands, comedians, poets, and artisans.  a couple friends of ours are among the team of people who started and run this festival, and i'm so excited i got to go this year!

{friends! thanks to tatiana-the-awesome-stylist for this photo.}

highlights for me included the ridiculously fun music of the little ones, laughing with great friends, eating out of food trucks, and people-watching {there were so many cute dresses to drool over}.  but the most beautiful part was helping out with the concrete voices booth.  concrete voices is a podcast some friends of mine run focused on life in hollywood, or i guess i should say real life in hollywood {not just what the movie industry makes it out to be}.  previous podcasts were on topics like urban gardening, teen homelessness, and street art.  this next podcast will be a compilation of 1 minute stories from those we interviewed at the jubilee, giving voice to the real people of LA.

it was an amazing experience to help out with this booth, meeting fascinating people and hearing the most incredible stories - hilarious antidotes from life, courageous escapes from genocide, and everything in between.  i went home last night feeling so proud of humankind.  everyone has a story to tell, and they were all beautiful in their own way.
...and so is yours!  

if you got to tell your story in 1 minute, what would you talk about?

by the way, pretty much everyone we interviewed began with "i don't have any stories," after which they would share an incredible piece of their life which blew us all away.  trust me, we all have funny, scary, courageous, embarrassing, sweet, disappointing, and victorious stories.

check back in a couple weeks to hear these stories from the jubilee on the concrete voices website.

sing little songbird

i had an amazing weekend!

as i'm sure you can imagine, a large part of that was due to our concert with joe gil at the hotel cafe.  

 everything went fine and it was fun to see so many friends {and even some family} there supporting us.  

i couldn't hear any of us very well {the sound guy was less than stellar}, but i had oh so much fun singing up on stage again.  i really do miss that, and the passion within me to perform has definitely been reignited.  

look out world!

{mr. joe gil} 

 {me + dannon}

a few other fun musical things from my weekend...

running into sia at intelligentsia {one of my favorite artists & activists},

learning to play "the cowboy song" on the ukulele {from joe vs. the volcano},

getting to hang out with the incredibly sweet guys from the daylights, and experience the awesomeness/beauty that is their concert! seriously, if you get a chance to see the daylights, DO IT.

{these photos were taken by one of dannon's friends, notes from vivace.  aren't they amazing?}

all in all, it was a pretty great weekend!  i'm really excited about this week too because i'll be working on a couple awesome projects {more to come on that soon}. we'll also be ending the week on a high note, at the silver lake jubilee, a two-day arts festival that some friends of ours started.  there will be a bunch of great bands, comedians, poets, and artists.  you can be sure to find me at the lady danville & the little ones shows 

{if you've followed me for a looong time, you may remember me featuring the little ones here.}  

come join us if you can!

i also made a playlist for an extra boost in inspiration and motivation this week,
which i hope may be of assistance to you too:


have a fantastic tuesday everyone!

railroad revival tour!

dannon and i have been mumford & sons fans for a few years now, ever since they were a little unknown band in the UK.  so when we saw that they were doing a tour-by-train with edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros and old crow medicine show a mere two weeks before the mister's birthday, we knew we had to go.

so friday we drove over to the ship yards of san pedro and wandered around the docks for a bit before making our way into the giant parking lot... er,... concert venue.

since we were there early, we found a spot right up front.  this was fine for the first two acts - not too crowded, fun people surrounding us, plenty of room to dance - but come mumford & sons and we found ourselves packed in like a japanese commuter train.  after a few songs up close {with dreamy stairs at the
keyboardist - swoon!}, we made our way farther back where we
could once again dance the concert away!

{*}

all the bands were completely amazing. we had heard old crow medicine show and edward sharpe in concert before, and once again they did not disappoint with a foot-stomping good time!  but mumford & sons completely blew them all away.  they were just perfect, and all of that big soul-thrilling sound they
produce on records was infinitely more amazing live.

the best part was probably at the very end, when everyone from all of the bands came out and
performed the encore together - woody guthrie's "this train is bound for glory."
it was epic!

{*}

today they are in new orleans for their final show of the tour.
can you imagine being on this train?  non stop jamming with all sorts of amazing musicians.
what a dream!!

{**}

i was a no good, very bad blogger and didn't take any pictures.  actually that's not true, we
took a couple photos but they were just a few colored blurs amongst a whole lot of black,
so i had to borrow photos from those who are much better at photography than me:
* these photos were borrowed from the railroad revival tour flickr photos.
** these photos were borrowed from the railroad revival tour travel diary.


you definitely need to catch a show if you get the chance to see any of these bands!

the brewery art walk

one of the coolest aspects of living in our neighborhood of echo park {other than the awesome coffee shops and being surrounded by musicians, actors & other creative types} is our proximity to the arts district in downtown LA.  this weekend we took advantage of our next door neighborhood and visited dozens
of open art studios at the brewery.

the brewery is the world's largest art complex, packed full of amazing live/work studios.  twice a year they have an art walk where artists open their homes for the public to come view the art being created there.
here were some of the scenes from sunday:

{"machine" - a musical instrument by church of art}

 {metal key tree by sandman creations}

 {art car ready for burning man!}

{an outfit for arting - shirt: sf thrift store, skirt: ruche, shoes: bc footwear, pocketwatch necklace: lunashineshine, t-shirt bracelet: made my me}


my most favorite studio, by far, was psycho girlfriend's. these girls were all wearing handmade 50's style dresses with giant polka dots. inside the polka dots were faces of old black & white tv stars, and each girl's dress was a different color. i wish i snapped a photo of them, because they were great!
here are some pics from their studio:

 {why yes, this IS a dress made from binder clips}

 {"this sign is not for sale" priced at $400.00}

it was so much fun to be surrounded by all that creativity! there was great people-watching, networking with other artists, and of course, it was super fun to see how people created homes in these warehouse studios.  can you imagine how amazing it would be to live in a community of other
artists packed in old breweries like this? what great energy!

 

scenes from san francisco

our trip to san francisco last week was far too short, but wonderful all the same.  we got to see many of our old friends, eat at our favorite places, and run some errands.  we also had multiple amazing conversations with all the right people.   there have been a number of big life topics that have come up for us lately.  it was so amazing to hear that we are not alone in the things which we're going through right now, and to gain a little perspective from similar experiences.  every conversation we had was just what we needed.

here's a little peek at our trip:

{eating at our old neighborhood cafe, the bean bag, where we ran into an old friend of the mister's.  that happens all the time in san francisco.  it's really quite a small city!}

{during our few free hours we roamed through our favorite thrift shops on haight street.}

{the best tikka masala i've ever had, at naan n curry in the sunset.  mmm!}

{our friends we stayed with have the cutest apartment, which they painted themselves. they also have two ridiculously adorable little boys which made for very entertaining mornings. one morning i heard him exclaim to his mom "i think the Girl One is up!"}

{the beautiful bay bridge.}

{the view of the city from treasure island, where our dear friend lives. i used to go running along the edge of the island when i lived there long ago. i loved watching the sun glimmer on all the buildings along the embarcadero in the mornings.}

****

a lot of you have asked me questions about our life in san francisco, so i wanted to take a minute to answer some of them.

when/why did i move to san francisco?

i moved to san francisco in december 6 years ago.  i had just finished college and couldn't stand living in my small southern town any longer.  i had to get out!  i literally sold everything in my apartment, bought a one-way ticket, and flew out 3 days after christmas with only two boxes of belongings.  i didn't know a soul, have a place to live, or have a job.  one of my ex-boyfriend's old high school friends picked me up from the airport and took me to the ex-boyfriend's apartment, where i stayed in his room for a few weeks while he was away.  it was the scariest, most thrilling experience of my life to completely start over like that, totally on my own, but i did it!   

how did i meet the mister?

we had actually met back in tennessee and dated for a year in college.  we were in very different places though, so like many college relationships, we broke up.  we eventually reconnected in san francisco and completely started over at the beginning. we were friends for a couple years in san francisco {pursuing other dating experiences}, before we began to have feelings for each other again.  eventually we decided that we wanted to give it another go.  three years after dating the second time, we got engaged and then hitched last september.  

what neighborhood did i live in?

for the first few months i lived on treasure island.  it was a blast to pretend to be a pirate and enjoy the amazing view of the city.  but i felt isolated in the middle of the bay, and i ended up getting a studio in the NOPA {north of the panhandle} neighborhood.  i was smack dab in the middle of the city and it was an easy walk to pacific heights, upper fillmore, lower haight, upper haight, the mission, and the castro.  i was only a couple blocks from alamo square {the "full house" park} and golden gate park.  i loved that neighborhood, and its central location allowed me to walk everywhere.  most people don't realize it, but the city of san francisco is only 7 miles by 7 miles, and really, the only places you would want to go is more within a 3 mile radius.  there were about a dozen great restaurants, a few cafes, an awesome music venue, and some bars within a couple blocks of my apartment.  and on sundays they closed down my block to traffic and set up a farmer's market just outside my door.  it was perfect!

so why in the world would we ever leave san francisco?!

as much as i am in love with san francisco, i am even more in love with change.  i am definitely a bohemian at heart and i can't imagine ever staying in one place for too long.  that was also the city of my fiercely independent growth into womanhood, and i thought it would be a good idea to start life with my partner in a new city that didn't represent so much of my single life.  we also have a good number of friends down in los angeles that we were ready to live near, and we missed summer terribly {if you don't know, san francisco is pretty much chilly and foggy year round, especially during the traditional summer months}.  

so there you have it.  i wouldn't be surprised if we move back there someday, but for now, we're soaking up the joys of having a new city to explore.