Birthday

it's hard to believe that it's almost my birthday again.  this past year has absolutely flown by.  

this year, my birthday wish list includes:

+ a long backpacking trip through Iceland

+ entrance into my top PhD program

+ a cute cabin in the woods of Colorado

+ a month sailing on a tall ship like my friend maranatha did
+ a sea kayaking trip around the channel islands

okay, so my realistic wish list includes eye glasses, a trip to the dentist, new break pads for the car and money to take the GRE.  not nearly as fun as my "no limitations" list above, but i guess i'm a real grown-up now.

{this is what happens when i sigh after thinking about the inner struggle between adult responsibilities and youthful free-spiritedness. she always knows how to make me feel better.}

october intentions ~ old things fall away

autumn.

it's the season of endings.

like the leaves of a tree, now is the time for old things in our life to fall away,

preparing us for the changes which come in spring, after a time of winter rest.

october has always been a time of slowing down, reflecting, and allowing myself to sit with all sorts of emotions.  while i've always hated routines, october tends to be a month when i am content to settle down into one.  it's comforting to have quiet structure in the midst of changes, transitions, endings.
after the past year full of struggles, i am ready for a little peace and quiet in my life.

so for my intentions this month, i hope to take the time i need 

to slow down, reflect, say my goodbye's to the things which are ending.  

through the month of october i will:

- bake more.

- use alone time wisely.

- take time to slowly sip hot drinks.

- acknowledge and honor all of the feelings i've been neglecting.

- journal in my morning pages about areas in my life on which i'd like to improve.

- allow more quiet time for reading, writing, and thinking {turning off distractions}.

- express my thoughts and feelings through creating more art.

- cleanse my home of things i no longer need/use.

- be patient with myself.

{photo found on j'adore}

do you have any goals for this month?

august intentions ~ yippeeee!

each month i come up with a new set of goals or intentions, which is my own alternative to a new year's resolution. i mean really, who sticks with their new year's goals throughout the entire year?! okay, some of you are great at that, but not me.  my needs change from month to month, so i like the flexibility to adapt to those changes.  i skipped last month, giving myself a break from any new goals while i got settled into my jobs.

but it's a new month!
and the month of august is a pretty special one because it's my birthday month!!  i'll be turning 29, which technically means i'm beginning my 30th year of life.  august also means it's been an entire year since i finished grad school and moved to LA with the mister.  this time last year we were unpacking boxes while simultaneously planning our wedding {we planned the whole thing in just one month}.  yup august was a pretty crazy month last year, and it's amazing to see how far we've come.

{photo}

so my goal for the very special month of august is simple
but incredibly important -- to have a whole bunch of fun!!
that's right, after a full year of overwhelming stress i'm going to enjoy life with all my heart.  

i will...

* carve out time to do fun things each week
{i will have 3 days a week when i'm not working, so NOT work is just what i'll do}.

* say yes to random fun opportunities that present themselves.

* sing, dance, & play the ukulele.

* get out in nature on some hikes.

* eat way more gelato.

* check off some of my summer goals, like attending more summer concerts,
visit the tim burton exhibit, & have a picnic at the hollywood bowl.

do you have any goals for august?

****

UPDATE: found that online magazine, thanks to a very helpful reader.  phew!  a few weeks ago one of you posted on your blog about an amazing online magazine devoted to food.  it wasn't just any old food magazine though, it was more focused on making connections with other people and sharing food-related experiences.  it was also gorgeous!  i can't find it anymore, and i can't remember which of your blogs i discovered it on.  i've tried googling all sorts of things to find it, but with no luck.  if you know what i'm talking about, or have some ideas of what i might be thinking of, please leave me the name/link in the comments.  thanks you guys!

  

june intentions ~ regroup

those of you who are regular readers may recall my new year's resolution to set aside a specific goal for myself at the beginning of each month.  and if you will also recall, i did just that during the months of january-april... then came may. oh may! i did have a goal that month to find a job, but i did not post about it.  i was partly sick of sounding like a broken record in my "goals" posts, and partly just holding my breath, feeling like something had to come along soon but not wanting to jinx anything by writing about it.  now i'm happy to say, a job did come along at the end of last month.  it's not in my field, but it is a way to earn money {no living under a bridge for us!}, and i am so grateful that we can breath a little easier now.  

here we are again in a new month {can you believe it's already summer?}, and i have a new goal.  this month i am going to be working on some inner growth, with a little healing mixed in.  let's be honest, being unemployed for so long {9 months for me}, even though i am educated and experienced, takes it's toll.  over the past few months i have been so frustrated with life, with myself, with how little my field respects interns.  i felt helpless and at a loss about what i could do differently.  now that i have something to pay with bills with, i can begin to regroup.

this month i'm going to take a few weeks off from my search for a therapy job and just focus on embracing some healthy practices - releasing the stress of the past few months, forgiving the universe for making me wait so long, and gaining motivation to do my best at my current job even though it's not in my career field.  i'm going to make my practices simple and specific, which is the best way to stick with new habits.

through the month of june i will:

+  get back into writing my morning pages at least 5 days a week.

+  write a letter to the universe expressing all of my thoughts and feelings about life {good & bad}.

+  begin a meditation and chanting practice at least 4 days a week.

+  get back to writing in my gratitude journal each evening.  
+ remain open & pursue any therapy opportunities which come my way, even if they are unpaid.

{photo}

do you have any goals for the month of june?

ps - thank you for all of your support over the past few months. your friendship and kind words have really meant a lot.

april intentions ~ really, i have to still do this?...

ack!, it's april!!!

i've been avoiding my goals post for this month, because that means i have to admit i still haven't met my march goal of landing a job/internship.  nothing, nada, nichts.  in fact, i made even less money in march than in february {when i made a whopping $50}.

i'm trying my darndest to stay hopeful, to keep my chin up, to keep working on my search.  somedays i feel completely on fire to get out there and flash my most brilliant "you know you want to hire me" smile,  while other days i just want to lie face down on the floor and not move until the repo man carries me away.

{photo}

the thing is, it's hard these days.  having a degree means very little.  jobs in my field want to know i have experience and expertise, but how am i to have much of either fresh out of grad school?  whereas all the other random jobs don't want to hire me because i have that masters degree.  restaurants, coffee shops, retail
jobs, ...all of them! they'd rather hire a 16 year old, even though i would dance customer-service-circles around those kids.  and it seems to be no better anywhere else in the country {or australia, as decoybetty knows. by the way, if you haven't checked out her blog, you should. i love her posts on her frustrating job search. oh how i feel your pain decoybetty!}.  what i'm hearing from everyone is that it's typically taking people about a year to finally land a job in something, anything, in all sorts of career fields.  blah!

so, sadly, my goals for this month are the same as last month's, only doubled.
plus, i'm going to throw in a few extra goals:
* keep on keepin on.
* don't give up.
* don't lose hope.
* be brave little soldier.
* don't get low self-esteem even if you have to apply for food stamps.
* remember you're awesome.
* stay strong!

what are your goals for the month?

march intentions ~ find a frickin job!

hey, it's march!! can you believe it?  it seems like only yesterday i was writing my goals post for february.  i actually considered making my goal for february "find a job" but then i thought, "nah, that's totally going to happen! i mean, there's no way i'll get through another month without finding a job."  but here i am...  actually i did get one job, a set design job, but that was only one day.  so for the entire month of february, i was employed for a single day.
...yup...
it's almost as if the universe wants me to become a stripper.


so, here it is.  i have lots of life goals right now, but at this point finding a job is the most important one of all.  for the past few months i've been feeling really inspired with all of my free time to do some personal searching and inner growth. it has been amazing to have so much time on my hands, but i think it's getting to the point where all of my other life goals are getting hung up on the stress i'm experiencing from not having a way to pay the bills.

{no job?  blerg!*}


so here it is, my goal for march is to make significant progress in the career world, whether that means getting a part time job to pay the bills or an internship to begin earning my hours toward licensure as a therapist.


to reach this goal, in the month of march, i will...
+ apply to at least 3 jobs a day {internships or odd jobs}.
+ make contact with the two therapy clinics at which i am interested in working .
+ begin job treasure hunts {aka - get out into the neighborhood & shopping districts several times a week to look for available positions}.
+ continue morning pages 5 times a week to keep my sanity.
+ exercise vigorously 5 days a week, also to keep my sanity.
+ begin seeking volunteer work {places with which their is a possibility of future employment}.
+ network, network, network {aka - tell everyone i know i'm in desperate need of a job}
+ attend the monthly networking meeting for LA therapists.


there it is folks.  i desperately hope i'll be able to check this goal off my big life list come my next "goals" post in april.  i would really appreciate all of your good thoughts, positive energy, prayers, crossed fingers, and any job-seeking tips you may have for me and the mister {yup, that's right... the mister needs a job too!}.  
let's all hope for a stripper-free april!


* if anyone knows where that picture came from please let me know. it was in a folder from a year ago marked "weheartit.com," but i like to give more credit than that.

february intentions

happy second day of february!!  can you believe it's here?  january flew by for me.  at the same time new year's feels like a million weeks ago, not four.  whew!

if you recall, i did something a little different in lieu of resolutions.  i decided to focus on growing one area of my life in deliberate and intentional ways each month, allowing myself extra time or modifications where necessary.  for the month of january, i focused on embracing and growing my inner artist.  i have to say it went pretty well!  i remained dedicated to writing my morning pages most days of the week, i carved out some time to do some creating, i began my search for an acting class, and i took myself on some inspiring artist dates.  i'm pretty happy with the amount of energy i devoted to making my creative growth more of an ingrained part of my life, rather than just something i try to fit in here and there.  i think i'm off to a great start, but lately, it's been getting more difficult to stay energized in this area.  so instead of moving on to a whole new goal, i'm going to continue working on growing the artistic side of me through february, only kicked up a notch.

this month i hope to...
* continue writing my morning pages at least 5 days a week.
* continue visiting acting classes.
* practice more music {singing & ukulele}.
* begin committing my performance to video {music, monologues, etc.}.

* write at least one short story/film concept each week.

* go on at least two artist dates.

* carry an art journal everywhere i go.

* wake up at 7a, even when i don't have to.

{photo}

in addition to growing my creative side, i'd like to focus more on making progress in the career world.
it's difficult living in a new city when your field works mostly through networking.  i had plenty of contacts up in san francisco, but here in los angeles, i still feel very out of the loop.
so, in order to find a great therapy internship this month,
i also plan to...
* network, network, network! make that extra effort to reach out & meet other therapists.
* attend at least one meeting put on by my professional organization.
* research volunteer opportunities in my field.


how are your goals or intentions coming along?
are you still going strong or have you hit a slump?
  

january intentions

tis the season to share resolutions, goals, & intentions.  have you done this or do you avoid resolutions like the plague? 

i tend to hate resolutions for a variety of reasons - i am horrible at keeping them, half-way through the year i develop new needs and therefore new goals in my life, and i don't like the concept of "fixing" myself in specific ways within a single year.
but mostly, i think resolutions can set ourselves up for pain and frustration. most of the time we make resolutions with the idea that we should or need to change things in a certain way.  if we don't meet our "should's" we feel as though we have failed, and we all know how disruptive feeling like a failure can be to our well-being. instead of hanging onto "i should" or "i need to" we would do better to hope or wish for things to end up for the best, with an open heart to deal with whatever sorts of surprises come our way.  

however, with all that said, i do think it's important to set goals, or intentions, for oneself.  i mean, we are all constantly growing and improving our lives for the better.  and if you see an area of your life that you would like to see grow, it's best to lay out specific steps you can take to reach that intention. even though this happens year round and deserves our frequent consideration, new year's can be a nice, built-in opportunity to help us stop and reassess our growth.  how far have we come?  what can be celebrated and where do we need to make modifications?  are we still heading in the direction we want to be?  and if not, what actions can we take to get on the desired path?

{photo}

over the past few months, i have taken a lot of time to reassess where i would like my life to go.  i do have some goals, but they are ones i have been working on for a while now. having a blog is an awesome opportunity to put these goals out into the universe and make them more real.  the problem, however, is that i often have far too many to face at once, and i put a lot of pressure on myself to work on all of them at the same time.  how practical is that?!  talk about setting myself up for failure!  so this year, i want to do something a little different. i have decided to split my goals up into smaller intentions, one per month.  i'm going to schedule a new goal with specific steps i can take at the beginning of each new month, giving myself permission to change these goals as appropriate to meet whatever life changes come this year.  

for the month of january, i hope to grow my inner artist in real and active ways.  so far i've done a whole lot of thinking and planning and dreaming about the ways to live the life i long for, but i think it's time to start taking the steps to actually live that life.  

so this month i would like to...

+ take acting classes

+ practice the ukulele twice a week

+ take myself on at least one artist's date

+ write my morning pages at least 5 days a week

+ buy a sketch journal and begin filling it up

{photo}

do you have resolutions, goals, or intentions?  

if so, might i offer some unsolicited advice?  {feel free to stop reading if you answered "no."}  :)  

* surround yourself with supportive people.

* set reminders to revisit your goals throughout the year.

* give yourself at least 6 weeks to reach your goal
{that's about how long it takes to quit a habit or form a new one}.

* chop up your goals into baby steps.
* join a meet-up group or class.

want a great way to do all of the above?
mara from m loves m is doing a year-long series called 52 weeks of resolutions. she is splitting up her goals into small steps, one to be completed each week.  go visit her blog to read more and join in.  i think it will be a great way to stay motivated this year.

one more thing - 

be gentle with yourself if you fall off the bandwagon.  it's never too late to pick up with a goal where you left off, even if it may feel overwhelming or "too late" to do so.

we can do it friends! ra! ra! ra!